“Love is a temporary madness” means that the early stage of love feels intense, irrational, and overwhelming due to powerful brain chemicals and emotions. However, this passionate phase usually settles into a deeper, calmer form of attachment and commitment over time.
Love has traditionally been filmed in high drama… poets compare love to fire, writers use storms… some say it’s magic, while others say it’s chaos. The expression “Love is Temporary Madness” implies that love at first sight (the initial push of love) is irrational, everyday people are vulnerable in love, do emotional things (like stand outside someone’s house and watch them), and are unable to reason (i.e. see the other person’s flaws).
Love is often described as an uncontrollable emotion, and when we fall in love, our thoughts revolve around the person we are in a relationship with, and we overlook their faults.
When you fall in love there will be times you feel totally out of control. However, is love really a form of madness? And how long does this type of love last?
Let’s look more closely at the emotional, psychological and practical side of this popular saying.
What Does “Love Is a Temporary Madness” Really Mean?
The expression does not indicate that love is harmful, negative, or bad; it simply describes how people experience the first stage of romantic attraction. Many people refer to this as infatuation; during this stage of infatuation, we:
- Think about them constantly
- Feel a huge amount of joy when with them
- Think everything they say or do is significant
- Ignore their flaws or issues
- Make decisions based on how we feel
This intense attraction can feel irrational. People may rearrange their priorities, lose focus on work, or ignore advice from friends and family. From the outside, it may look like “madness.” From the inside, it feels magical.
The word “temporary” suggests that this heightened emotional state does not last forever. And science supports this idea.
The Science Behind Love and Madness
When you fall in love, your brain releases powerful chemicals:
Dopamine
This hormone promotes feelings of pleasure and reward; it is released when we do something that has made us excited in the past.
Oxytocin
Also known as the bonding hormone, this hormone increases feelings of closeness and emotional connection.
Adrenaline
This hormone is what causes racing hearts, sweaty palms, and the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
When these chemicals are released together, they can give you the feeling of extreme emotional highs. You may become energy-filled, obsessed, and very connected to your partner. However, your logical thoughts may be suppressed due to an increase in activity in your emotional brain.
Research indicates this type of high, or intense stage, usually only lasts between six months to two years; after that, brain chemistry becomes stable and your emotional highs begin to calm down.
This leads to confusion about whether or not love is crazy; because the wildness is only temporary and will eventually come to an end.
Is Love Really Temporary?
The phrase itself is often misunderstood by many people, apparently.
Love in itself may not be permanent, yet the insanity we have for one another is only temporary. The love that we share today will not remain the same as it will change over time.
How we experience love shifts from a form of
Initial infatuation:- Passionate -Obsessed -Dramatic -Highly emotional
To mature and secure love:- Stable -Safe and secure -Supportive -Mutually trusting and committed
The initial experience of excitement, obsession, and infatuation may be replaced with even stronger emotion (i.e., safety and long-term commitments).
As “temporary crack,” we develop into permanent partnership(s).
Infatuation vs Real Love
Understanding the difference is important.
Infatuation (Temporary Madness)
- Fast and intense
- Focused on attraction
- Ignores flaws
- Driven by hormones
- Emotional highs and lows
Real Love (Mature Attachment)
- Grows slowly
- Accepts imperfections
- Built on trust
- Requires effort and commitment
- Emotionally steady
Infatuation feels explosive. Real love feels secure.
When “temporary insanity” of love fades, long term relationships depend on mutual understanding and communication. Gary Chapman has a very detailed explanation of the different ways people can give and receive love, referred to as love languages, i.e., words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch. If partners can identify each other’s love language, the feelings of passionate love evolve into a strong, more stable, and deeper form of love.
Why Do We Call Love “Madness”?
Love has been referred to as madness by writers/philosophers all through the ages because:
- Love drives irrational behavior
- Love alters one’s set of priorities
- Love can lead to obsessive/jealous feelings
- Love creates emotional vulnerability for the lover
Because of how much someone loves another person, they are likely to take risks they would not have considered prior to being in love, forgive others for their errors, and make large sacrifices are consequences of their love.
From a logical perspective, those behaviors could seem like a loss of control.
From an emotional perspective, those behaviors could seem like a new sense of purpose or meaning.
When Temporary Madness Becomes Dangerous
It is worth noting that there are unhealthy varieties of “madness” when it comes to love.
The unhealthy signs of “madness” include:
- Extreme jealousy
- Emotional dependency
- Controlling behaviors
- Ignoring large red flags which are obvious to you
- Losing your Identity because of the relationship
A healthy relationship should develop into a balanced relationship, not a chaotic one. When an initially intense relationship deteriorates into emotional instability or toxicity, it is not true love. It may be attachment or obsession rather than love.
True love is characterized by peace as opposed to continual anxiety.
The Beauty of Love’s Evolution
The way that love changes is truly this wonderful thing.
At the beginning, love is full of excitement and passion – it feels like fireworks. All is new, and it has all of the thrills that you can imagine.
However, just like fireworks, love doesn’t last forever.
What lasts is the warmth of knowing that you have had chosen over and over again every day by that special person. The comfort of knowing that they are there to support you in your hardest of times. The laughter that you share together; the feelings (of love, etc.) that you have but without have to express them in words.
Although beginning of love is somewhat crazy (like a mad man) you have developed a more wise and calmer love.
At times, the calmer (or steadier) love can(the) be more powerful than how it began.
Romantic Reflection
It is possible that love requires some form of temporary insanity to exist.
Intensity allows us to be emotional and take risks associated with our emotions. Passion will help us to open our hearts without fear. Madness gives us a reason to feel.
If we love there will be growth.
Love that survives past the “madness” of early love then becomes intentional. Love is then a decision and not simply an emotion.
Conclusion
The phrase “Love is a Temporary Madness” provides an astoundingly accurate depiction of the initial and most passionate part of being in love. This initial phase of love is characterized by a surge in one’s emotions, as well as an increase in their brain’s chemistry.
This temporary madness is what begins most romantic stories.
It is the mature part of the story that concludes it.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What does “Love is a temporary madness” mean?
It means that the early stage of love feels intense, emotional, and irrational due to strong attraction and brain chemicals. This passionate phase usually calms over time.
How long does the “madness” phase of love last?
The intense infatuation stage typically lasts between 6 months to 2 years, depending on the relationship and individuals involved.
Is love really temporary?
No. The intense excitement phase is temporary, but real love can grow into long-term emotional attachment and commitment.
Why does love make people act irrationally?
Love activates dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline in the brain, which increase pleasure, bonding, and emotional intensity — sometimes reducing logical thinking temporarily.
Can temporary madness turn into real love?
Yes. When the initial excitement settles, couples who build trust, communication, and commitment can develop strong, lasting love.
