You and your partner seem to be moving really fast, and you start to worry that you’re losing some of your independence in the relationship. Before you call Black Tie Moving and start looking for a realtor to move in with your partner, let’s establish some ways for you to maintain your independence in the relationship.
5 Steps How to Maintain Independence in a Relationship
1. Establish Boundaries
Everyone should have boundaries in their relationship. While some would consider this “putting walls up,” it’s quite the opposite. Boundaries aren’t meant to keep your partner out, contrary to its name, but they’re put in place to communicate to others your safe zone. In order to maintain your independence in a relationship, it’s important that you establish boundaries to help you do so.
Boundaries for independence:
- Needing alone time
- Not sharing passwords
- Not taking the blame for something you aren’t responsible for
- Respect for your time
2. Make Time for Yourself
Having time for yourself is important when it comes to maintaining your independence in a relationship. While the two of you might want to spend all your waking moments together, it’s a good idea to set aside some time for yourself. Allowing yourself to have alone time is a great way to still feel and build that connection and relationship with yourself. If you spend all your time with your partner, you run the risk of losing your identity.
3. Communicate Effectively
Healthy communication is a hallmark characteristic of a loving relationship. You want to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your independence, and this can only be done through effective communication. You don’t want your partner to feel that you’re not interested in time with them, but that you value the relationship you have with yourself. Explain to them that in order for you to be the best partner you can be, you’ll need to have some space to be yourself as well. A mature partner will gladly respect this.
4. Encourage Their Independence
You don’t want to be the only independent one in your relationship. You could have a partner that’s codependent, and it’s especially important that you try and help them establish their own independence outside of the relationship. While it might feel nice for a while to have a partner who wants to spend all their time with you, this isn’t healthy for them or the relationship. Instead, encourage their own independence and reassure them as often as needed.
5. Have Different Friend Groups
It’s not uncommon for couples to have the same friend group. However, in order to maintain your independence, it’s important that you keep your own group of friends as well or make new ones. Having different friends from one another is completely healthy and really allows you to have a life outside of the relationship. If you’re spending time with your partner’s friends – they’re still tethered to you in some way. While this is okay sometimes, try and have a few friends around that are yours only.
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